Being single & 23.

The fall leaves are on the ground, and couples are out and about. Staying indoors, is something I can’t help but avoid until the Winter officially comes.

The last date I went on, was in December of 2013. It was not bad, but we’ve never talked to since. That’s okay, because at the time I was not in the right mental thinking or being to start dating. I had just moved to Oklahoma, and was dealing with heavy amounts of Anxiety and Depression.

The time before that, I had dated someone for about a month in the late Spring of 2013. Quite the College fling, I would say. We learned that the relationship would not work out long- distance over the summer. While we only lived about two hours a part, I wasn’t driving at the time, and while that was a weird and terrible heartbreak, I just let things go.

Also, let’s kinda go back to where High School doesn’t count. For me, High School doesn’t count, because my sophomore year I was challenged to date someone. I did, and that was terrible on me. Then, I dated his best friend months later. That’s even worse, right? That too, only lasted three weeks. That was like 2010.

This GIF will be me in 2017.

While I don’t count my High School frail of a dating life, some of College and real life dating has come and gone. So in total, I have been single for is about two and a half months. I laugh, because I DON’T CARE.

Honestly, I am quite glad that I was single during the ruff years that were 2013 through 2015. 2016 has been odd on its own, so we shall see what 2017 has to offer. You’ve probably read all the different blogs about being single, and you know… it’s not bad. It really isn’t. I’ve got friends who go from one relationship to the next. How? With no recuperation time in between, no understanding of self? Maybe that’s how they understand life, but maybe that’s how they have come to understand self.

I’ve also never really pursued much of the dating scene myself. It even goes back to romantic movies. I get quite tired of them. The only ones I like are like Pride and Prejudice and the TV drama Downton Abbey.


I suppose I am a romantic at heart, but I don’t like Hollywood’s take with romantic films. They make me sick inside. I think its because they almost are all the same, who knows.

I’d say the colors of my soul are like the colors of my Hogwarts house: Yellow and Black. Yellow for the sunshine that brings in the sunlight for the garden; black for the black roses that grow in my garden. I really don’t have black roses in my garden right now, but one day I will!

This is the time of year (between now and Valentine’s Day) where everyone wishes to have a significant other. I’ve always been single on Valentine’s Day, so it doesn’t bother me. Maybe it’s because I just know that when I’m not looking, I’ll find my twin flame? What if I’ve already met my twin flame, and the flame’s burning  right at me? 

I love the idea of twin flames. As someone who is a Gemini, twin flames is like finding your twin soul. You are one half, and your flame is the other. One is the feminine energy, the other is masculine energy. Both souls have a burst of creativity energy, and even connect on a deep, spiritual level. Meeting your twin flame is reportedly rare.   This is similar to Yin and Yang Chinese philosophy or the romantic story of the Sun and the Moon.

Someone asked me once if I was waiting to “fall in love.” I laughed too loudly, and was given the a judged stare. Said person could not grasp how a twenty-three year old, losing weight female wasn’t going on dates left and right. My response? “I know of plenty of fish in the sea. I want to be friendly to the fish, not eat the fish.”

Personally, I would rather know someone for some time, and so that they know me. My friends know that its not the fact that I’m picky, I just don’t want to hurt people’s feelings. They could know me on my worst days, when the depression creeps in during the night. When the morning begins, and I’m out running or in the garden. Or better yet: when I’m watching baseball, WWE, or MMA and I’m yelling at the TV like a mad woman. *Whose fantasy booking went all wrong*

For those who are single, whether recent or for sometime, I have some challenges that work for “us.” If you are in a relationship, and you might want to try some of these yourself. *Not* to say you should end your relationship, but needing to be reminded of doing things alone is always a good thing (every once in a while).

“Go Your Own Way” Challenges:

  1. Go to the movies (by yourself).
  2. Go to that fine dining restaurant, and have a glass of wine (to yourself).
  3.  Volunteer at a Animal Shelter (if you aren’t allergic to cats or dogs).
  4. Serve food at a soup kitchen.
  5. Go on a road trip.
  6. Go to a concert, any concert.
  7. Be there for your friends when relationship problems occur.
  8. Go to worship, at church or at a synagogue.
  9. Enjoy tea or coffee at your favorite local shop (that’s me right now).
  10. Hiking, camping, etc. Anything to enjoy the outdoors!
  11. Sing, dance, or play your instrument. Creativity is a lovely thing.


The main message I want to send right now is go on a date with yourself. Love yourself for who you are. I’ll have to do a separate blog on that  topic alone; while doing some running and dieting for my heart, I’ve been downsized a bra size and an Underwear size at Victoria Secret. It’s not much, but its something. Well, the Bra size band is the only thing that changed. It made me super happy last night, I almost cried.

As always, thank you for reading! 


5 thoughts on “Being single & 23.”

  1. I love this post and I love your message! I too could never understand how people bounced from one relationship to the next to the next and never really seemed to enjoy being on their own. I am a weirdo that enjoyed the single life! Now I am married and I enjoy this chapter as well, but I think it’s because I did as you suggested and dated myself for so long and didn’t hate it, that I took the time to settle down with the right person.


  2. Love your confidence. There’s such pressure from society to do what they find acceptable (stereotypical Hollywood rom-coms) instead of allowing others to grow into the person they ought to be, that people are getting married for the sake of having the perfect life – and then they get divorced years later when they find themselves. Better to be single and happy, than with the wrong someone and suffocating.


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